Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.
Ayn Rand
One dinner time, I listened to my husband story. He told me about our friend who has an economic problem. His friend thought he has no ability to work hard because of many reasons; such as it was hard for him to make decision in his life. The problem is we know him very well and we were sad to see that he struggled in his life. We talked about any possibilities to help him but I couldn’t find one. In my opinion we can not help people whom he or she never realizes that he or she has an ability to work in his or her life. We all know that our friend is a very talented person. He didn’t trust himself that he has those wonderful talents to make a living. We involved into a long discussion.
I spontaneously said,” He doesn’t want to take his responsibility in his life. I enjoy working everyday” My husband didn’t agree with me, he said,” Only for you enjoy working” I said, “ My dad always says life is a responsibility, You have to take it or leave it. It is your choice. You want to enjoy working or you hate working it is all yours. You have perfect hands, feet and amazing brain. Those are you first asset and capital to make a living” My dad used to show me how disabled people could make a living and they looked happy.
I just learn in life I have the ability to work, I have talents. Those are my assets and capital inside me. First choice for me is to take the responsibility, second choice is to accept it with a joy in my heart and be thankful for my life. In life there are so many things that we can not control or change. I would rather not try to change those circumstances; the most important I always can change my attitude and my mind. Wayne Dyer said:
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
I remembered when I couldn’t study abroad because some reasons. I had to study in certain university and I had to take Accounting major. My dad came to me and said,” Sorry I can not give you many choices this time. I know that you don’t like this situation. Education will enrich your knowledge and you can use it in your life one day. This is your choice. Take it as your responsibility and then choice how you will accept it. If you take it with joy, you will feel that is easy. If you can not accept this, you will walk with a heavy burden in your life.”
Life is responsibility and it is a choice. I took my dad’s advice in every responsibility I take. That is true… the burden of life not because life is too hard but because we can not make a good choice to accept it.
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
Henry David Thoreau
**Lina Kartasasmita** 12.05AM Oct 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
“I trust you”
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
Ernest Hemingway
One day, my husband and I went to meet his good friend. They were college friends when they studied abroad. We talked about random things until we ended up talking about our children’s education. We have children in the same age. We were ready to send our first daughter to go abroad for her education during that time. Our friend said that he worried to send his children to study abroad because of the culture differences and other life style issues.
I am a simple person. In my opinion if we as parents already teach our children the value of our culture, the value of our family, the rest of that we just need to trust the children. My husband asked me many times about how much I trust my children to go abroad and to live by themselves. I said I have done my part and the rest of the part will be in the children’s hand. It depends on their decision and their choice of life. We can not do anything or we can not control their future. We only can help them to see clearly their opinion about life, we can tell them how to judge something but we can not control their decision. It is about trust. I trust that I have put a right foundation in my children’s life and I have to trust them that they know what they have to do with their life.
My husband asked me, what if the children made mistakes in their life. That is common that people make mistakes and we should have a big heart to forgive them. I don’t want to fill my mind with negative thinking. I just want to be positive in life. The only thing I do in life, I keep telling myself … I trust my children and I will see them will pass all obstacles in their life with the best decision and choices.
This is my statement to my lovely daughters, “I trust you that you will make a right decision and a right choice in your life. No matter what happen in your life. You make mistakes or you are successful. You are still our daughters. We always have forgiveness for you; we will always be there for you to support and to encourage you. We love you unconditionally”
I believe as Ralph Waldo Emerson said:
Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. Ralph Waldo Emerson
**Lina Kartasasmita** at 5.16PM Oct 25, 2010
Ernest Hemingway
One day, my husband and I went to meet his good friend. They were college friends when they studied abroad. We talked about random things until we ended up talking about our children’s education. We have children in the same age. We were ready to send our first daughter to go abroad for her education during that time. Our friend said that he worried to send his children to study abroad because of the culture differences and other life style issues.
I am a simple person. In my opinion if we as parents already teach our children the value of our culture, the value of our family, the rest of that we just need to trust the children. My husband asked me many times about how much I trust my children to go abroad and to live by themselves. I said I have done my part and the rest of the part will be in the children’s hand. It depends on their decision and their choice of life. We can not do anything or we can not control their future. We only can help them to see clearly their opinion about life, we can tell them how to judge something but we can not control their decision. It is about trust. I trust that I have put a right foundation in my children’s life and I have to trust them that they know what they have to do with their life.
My husband asked me, what if the children made mistakes in their life. That is common that people make mistakes and we should have a big heart to forgive them. I don’t want to fill my mind with negative thinking. I just want to be positive in life. The only thing I do in life, I keep telling myself … I trust my children and I will see them will pass all obstacles in their life with the best decision and choices.
This is my statement to my lovely daughters, “I trust you that you will make a right decision and a right choice in your life. No matter what happen in your life. You make mistakes or you are successful. You are still our daughters. We always have forgiveness for you; we will always be there for you to support and to encourage you. We love you unconditionally”
I believe as Ralph Waldo Emerson said:
Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. Ralph Waldo Emerson
**Lina Kartasasmita** at 5.16PM Oct 25, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Life is Responsibility:” Me … not mommy”
Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.
Tony Robbins
I used to keep in touch with my old friends, one day I was online on Yahoo messenger and I found one of my friends also online. I started to type “Hi” and then we had a long chatting line after that. Even we live in the same city Jakarta; we haven’t met for such a long time. My friend told me that she was busy because that was a final exam at her children’s school. She was busy to help her children to memorize and to study all subjects from Math, Science and Social studies. She found out that I never helped my children to memorize before the exam. The big question was how I did that.
The answer that I have in my life, I never taught my children or helped them to study. I just taught them “Life is responsibility and consequence” Their responsibilities in life, they need to do their best in everything, bring the best out of themselves, they have to use their talents which God have given in them. The consequence will follow after each responsibility. If they didn’t study and they fail in their exam, it is not a mother’s responsibility or others. It is their own responsibility, their own consequence. Each responsibility they take, they will also get the consequence. No one can help them except themselves.
I used to ask my daughters when they were in kinder garden school. I believe they still remember my question until now. My question was,” If you learn something, who will get smarter? If you study hard who will get the praise? “The answer would be,” Me… not mommy” As a mom I just taught them to know what the purpose of their life, the great attitude and foundation in their life. I believe “Children are empty glasses which we need to fulfill inside the glass and not to decorate the exterior of the glasses”
Some parents preferred to help their children to memorize and to study instead of prepared their children to face difficulties or obstacles in life. Parents used to see good grade as a goal. But in life, grade only represented our ability at school, at one moment in life or one subject which probably we even didn’t like it. I saw my children as blessings from God. They have their talents, their own dreams and their own life. My responsibilities as a mom are to love them, to accept and to encourage them.
If I never helped my children to study or to memorize the school subjects, what have I done for them?. That was a great question. The answer was “I am always there for them; I give them support when they need, I encourage them and I motivate them to bring out their best. I always say,” Yes, you can do it” I am there for them as a mom, a friend and a coach. “
Life is responsibility and as Jim Rohn said:
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
Jim Rohn
Let the children learn to take their responsibility and let them make themselves know the purpose of their life. God has given the children talents and abilities. Our responsibility as parents just make our children can see what they have in them.
**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, 24 October 2010 at 6.11PM
Tony Robbins
I used to keep in touch with my old friends, one day I was online on Yahoo messenger and I found one of my friends also online. I started to type “Hi” and then we had a long chatting line after that. Even we live in the same city Jakarta; we haven’t met for such a long time. My friend told me that she was busy because that was a final exam at her children’s school. She was busy to help her children to memorize and to study all subjects from Math, Science and Social studies. She found out that I never helped my children to memorize before the exam. The big question was how I did that.
The answer that I have in my life, I never taught my children or helped them to study. I just taught them “Life is responsibility and consequence” Their responsibilities in life, they need to do their best in everything, bring the best out of themselves, they have to use their talents which God have given in them. The consequence will follow after each responsibility. If they didn’t study and they fail in their exam, it is not a mother’s responsibility or others. It is their own responsibility, their own consequence. Each responsibility they take, they will also get the consequence. No one can help them except themselves.
I used to ask my daughters when they were in kinder garden school. I believe they still remember my question until now. My question was,” If you learn something, who will get smarter? If you study hard who will get the praise? “The answer would be,” Me… not mommy” As a mom I just taught them to know what the purpose of their life, the great attitude and foundation in their life. I believe “Children are empty glasses which we need to fulfill inside the glass and not to decorate the exterior of the glasses”
Some parents preferred to help their children to memorize and to study instead of prepared their children to face difficulties or obstacles in life. Parents used to see good grade as a goal. But in life, grade only represented our ability at school, at one moment in life or one subject which probably we even didn’t like it. I saw my children as blessings from God. They have their talents, their own dreams and their own life. My responsibilities as a mom are to love them, to accept and to encourage them.
If I never helped my children to study or to memorize the school subjects, what have I done for them?. That was a great question. The answer was “I am always there for them; I give them support when they need, I encourage them and I motivate them to bring out their best. I always say,” Yes, you can do it” I am there for them as a mom, a friend and a coach. “
Life is responsibility and as Jim Rohn said:
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
Jim Rohn
Let the children learn to take their responsibility and let them make themselves know the purpose of their life. God has given the children talents and abilities. Our responsibility as parents just make our children can see what they have in them.
**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, 24 October 2010 at 6.11PM
Friday, April 2, 2010
Getting old doesn't make us wiser
I was about to take a shower when my phone rang twice. I thought if that was an important call, it would ring again. Oops… it rang again and when I picked it up. I heard a familiar voice. He said, “Hi Miss… are you busy? Can we talk?” I replied,” Not really, but I need to take a shower first” He said,” Okay Miss. I will call you again in a few minutes” The caller was my student; he is a very nice boy and very good student. I didn’t talk a lot with him in the class room, but we chatted online sometimes to discuss about Accounting or just sharing about life. My mind kept wondering what actually I would need to discuss with him. My wondering time was over when the phone rang again.
He was my student for one semester in one of the college which I taught before. I know him for only a short time, but we spent time to discuss about life sometimes. This time he called me just to share about his opinion about life. We talked about how people usually saw their problem, their life and their success. I was amazed to meet young man with a deep thinking about life. He saw success is not about money, he admired process of achievement more than the achievement itself. He has something which over his age. His points of view are strong and it builds his wisdom in a young age.
We spent two and half hours to chat about life. We are connected by our opinion about life. I said to him, “You will walk in the empty street, there is not too many people in your age will have wisdom as you have now. You will walk alone. In your life you will find that your friends can not understand you or your point of view and your concept about happiness. They will look at you as a stranger or they will say you are too old for your age. Get ready to face that you will be alone in this age… And it will be hard for you to find someone in the same level of wisdom like you have now.” He laughed to hear about that. He said,” Is that something wrong about it? “I said,” Nothing wrong about that, but you are looking for something which other people don’t look for that. You expand your mind to see wisdom while people are busy to build their happiness base on the common standard of life”
Learning wisdom in life will never be easy for everyone, but it is possible thing to do. In our life we pass every day life without putting our awareness there are a lot of lessons to build our wisdom. We only take it as a lesson if we lost something or we have a bad experience. That is why wisdom seems too hard to reach. Wisdom is in our mind as long as we want to open our eyes to see every single thing happens in our life is a source of wisdom.
Thank you to my student, who picked me as his friend in sharing the wisdom of life. I learned a lot from his point of view. Getting old doesn’t make us wiser. We need to use our mind to reach that level of understanding life.
Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Abigail Van Buren, 1978
US advice columnist (1918 - )
*Lina Kartasasmita*
April 2, 2010 at 8.43PM
He was my student for one semester in one of the college which I taught before. I know him for only a short time, but we spent time to discuss about life sometimes. This time he called me just to share about his opinion about life. We talked about how people usually saw their problem, their life and their success. I was amazed to meet young man with a deep thinking about life. He saw success is not about money, he admired process of achievement more than the achievement itself. He has something which over his age. His points of view are strong and it builds his wisdom in a young age.
We spent two and half hours to chat about life. We are connected by our opinion about life. I said to him, “You will walk in the empty street, there is not too many people in your age will have wisdom as you have now. You will walk alone. In your life you will find that your friends can not understand you or your point of view and your concept about happiness. They will look at you as a stranger or they will say you are too old for your age. Get ready to face that you will be alone in this age… And it will be hard for you to find someone in the same level of wisdom like you have now.” He laughed to hear about that. He said,” Is that something wrong about it? “I said,” Nothing wrong about that, but you are looking for something which other people don’t look for that. You expand your mind to see wisdom while people are busy to build their happiness base on the common standard of life”
Learning wisdom in life will never be easy for everyone, but it is possible thing to do. In our life we pass every day life without putting our awareness there are a lot of lessons to build our wisdom. We only take it as a lesson if we lost something or we have a bad experience. That is why wisdom seems too hard to reach. Wisdom is in our mind as long as we want to open our eyes to see every single thing happens in our life is a source of wisdom.
Thank you to my student, who picked me as his friend in sharing the wisdom of life. I learned a lot from his point of view. Getting old doesn’t make us wiser. We need to use our mind to reach that level of understanding life.
Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Abigail Van Buren, 1978
US advice columnist (1918 - )
*Lina Kartasasmita*
April 2, 2010 at 8.43PM
Thursday, March 18, 2010
On the same day in 2009
I read again the pink lovely card in front of me which I got it a year ago on the same date as today. The cover:
Happy birthday Mother
Each time I think of you
I remember your acceptance, your patience, your love.
Inside the card:
Each time
I think of you
I remember
How grateful
I am
That you’re my mother
Those words are printed nicely from the card maker. I believe many mothers already received that similar card. I have something totally make that card so special for me.
There were two difference handwritings inside the card and it wrote:
Weehee mommy! Happy birthday
Yes Mommy, you are getting old! But it’s okay because I still love you! And 2 love you even more each day! Remember mommy that you have been a terrifically awesomely amazingly unquestionably fabulous mom!! I love you even if you do not give me cookies! Ahahahaha ….
There was another hand writing in the other side of the card
“Things that keep you so close to our heart, you are our one and only loving mom, mostly though it is because we love you mom”
Both hand writings really made that card so special for me. Of course every year I am getting older. Nothing can change that. Many years ago I told my husband please don’t give me any present for my birthday. The first time I said that my husband couldn’t believe that. I tried to explain to him. After reading Mother Teresa’s book, I had meditated her message on how people live base on what they want more than what they need. I looked around all my birthday presents, most of them I didn’t need that. It was probably uncommon thing for people around me that I don’t want presents on my birthday. But I took it as part of my journey to build my wisdom in life. I always tell my children, the biggest present that I can give to them is only my love, my time and my life. There is something they can not exchange with other things in this world.
The statement,” I love you mom and we love you mom” that is my biggest present ever in my life. That statement brings light to my heart every time I read. I can see the meaning of my presence in this world. I can see the beauty of me in the reflection of my daughters’ eyes.
In life, I learn to enjoy every single thing I have as a blessing and I learn more and more to appreciate the present from the heart more than anything else. The card is the present from my daughters’ heart.
I wish I will have all the same statements from my daughters until the end of my journey in this world. The only things that I can bring with me and no one can steal it.
Devina and Devita,
Thank you for loving me as your mom
Jakarta, March 18, 2010 at 5.24 PM
** Lina Kartasasmita**
Happy birthday Mother
Each time I think of you
I remember your acceptance, your patience, your love.
Inside the card:
Each time
I think of you
I remember
How grateful
I am
That you’re my mother
Those words are printed nicely from the card maker. I believe many mothers already received that similar card. I have something totally make that card so special for me.
There were two difference handwritings inside the card and it wrote:
Weehee mommy! Happy birthday
Yes Mommy, you are getting old! But it’s okay because I still love you! And 2 love you even more each day! Remember mommy that you have been a terrifically awesomely amazingly unquestionably fabulous mom!! I love you even if you do not give me cookies! Ahahahaha ….
There was another hand writing in the other side of the card
“Things that keep you so close to our heart, you are our one and only loving mom, mostly though it is because we love you mom”
Both hand writings really made that card so special for me. Of course every year I am getting older. Nothing can change that. Many years ago I told my husband please don’t give me any present for my birthday. The first time I said that my husband couldn’t believe that. I tried to explain to him. After reading Mother Teresa’s book, I had meditated her message on how people live base on what they want more than what they need. I looked around all my birthday presents, most of them I didn’t need that. It was probably uncommon thing for people around me that I don’t want presents on my birthday. But I took it as part of my journey to build my wisdom in life. I always tell my children, the biggest present that I can give to them is only my love, my time and my life. There is something they can not exchange with other things in this world.
The statement,” I love you mom and we love you mom” that is my biggest present ever in my life. That statement brings light to my heart every time I read. I can see the meaning of my presence in this world. I can see the beauty of me in the reflection of my daughters’ eyes.
In life, I learn to enjoy every single thing I have as a blessing and I learn more and more to appreciate the present from the heart more than anything else. The card is the present from my daughters’ heart.
I wish I will have all the same statements from my daughters until the end of my journey in this world. The only things that I can bring with me and no one can steal it.
Devina and Devita,
Thank you for loving me as your mom
Jakarta, March 18, 2010 at 5.24 PM
** Lina Kartasasmita**
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Table topic 1: Never… never give up
It was Tuesday; I used to come to Plaza Senayan for public speaking meeting there. Part of the public speaking is a table topic session. My friend Vina Tan leaded the session and she asked many questions which one of her question was “Never… never give up” I was about to answer that but I already had a role as General Evaluator, so it was better to give the chance to others. Anyway my mind kept thinking about the question and I really want to write the answer here in my blogs.
Never… never give up! I like that statement a lot. Once in my life I was about to give up my project for Advance communicator Bronze in Toastmaster International. I thought I picked a wrong manual. I couldn’t find any idea to write about the project and I didn’t know how to finish the manual. I was about to change my manual with another manual. I looked back and fort the manual and I thought over and over again. Actually it was simple thing to decide, I could change the manual without any problem but something bothered my mind. The manual has five projects to finish, I did one project already and I got the best prepared speaker for that project. In my mind there were many questions… did I really want to give the manual up. Did I do my best to do the other projects? Did I really want to give up the one project which I had done already?
It was easy to say,” I give up” it was a common thing in our life. On that stage I made a decision to continue my manual. I was struggle with the projects but I found a great friend who was willing to be my partner in my project. His name is Wahyu, I always call him “Why you” He helped me with my “Radio Talk show” project, he became my interviewer. That was great time to know someone was there to help me. At the beginning I thought it would be difficult to do my projects with partner. When I came to practice with Wahyu, I realized that my mind saw it would be many problems to have someone as my partner but actually only my mind created the situation. In reality if we want to try harder nothing impossible. My works not always come out with the best result but at least I become a better person with a better attitude in life.
Now base on that experience, every time my mind says “Give up” I will insist to tell my mind back “Never” In life we pass every situation without pay enough attention about our obstacles in our life. The obstacle is actually bigger in our mind than outside our mind. It is true the saying “Our biggest enemy is ourselves”
One day at school while I was waiting my students to finish their test, there were three students who suddenly returned their test papers and they said with innocent faces, “Miss, I give up” I was sad to see how young generation was easily giving up. I said to myself, “It is easy to give up but it will never easy to keep the persistence in doing something in the future”
If we just want only want to have easy life, happy life and we like to avoid obstacle instead of facing it with our best ability. We can join the hedonism group. Anyway… life has obstacles and problems, no matter who you are and where you are! The best choice that we can say to ourselves, “Never give up. Set your mind to see the obstacles in life as challenges. Never give up; we can always do our best in life to pass that time with a great attitude”
**Lina Kartasasmita** 7.02PM 10 February 2010
Never… never give up! I like that statement a lot. Once in my life I was about to give up my project for Advance communicator Bronze in Toastmaster International. I thought I picked a wrong manual. I couldn’t find any idea to write about the project and I didn’t know how to finish the manual. I was about to change my manual with another manual. I looked back and fort the manual and I thought over and over again. Actually it was simple thing to decide, I could change the manual without any problem but something bothered my mind. The manual has five projects to finish, I did one project already and I got the best prepared speaker for that project. In my mind there were many questions… did I really want to give the manual up. Did I do my best to do the other projects? Did I really want to give up the one project which I had done already?
It was easy to say,” I give up” it was a common thing in our life. On that stage I made a decision to continue my manual. I was struggle with the projects but I found a great friend who was willing to be my partner in my project. His name is Wahyu, I always call him “Why you” He helped me with my “Radio Talk show” project, he became my interviewer. That was great time to know someone was there to help me. At the beginning I thought it would be difficult to do my projects with partner. When I came to practice with Wahyu, I realized that my mind saw it would be many problems to have someone as my partner but actually only my mind created the situation. In reality if we want to try harder nothing impossible. My works not always come out with the best result but at least I become a better person with a better attitude in life.
Now base on that experience, every time my mind says “Give up” I will insist to tell my mind back “Never” In life we pass every situation without pay enough attention about our obstacles in our life. The obstacle is actually bigger in our mind than outside our mind. It is true the saying “Our biggest enemy is ourselves”
One day at school while I was waiting my students to finish their test, there were three students who suddenly returned their test papers and they said with innocent faces, “Miss, I give up” I was sad to see how young generation was easily giving up. I said to myself, “It is easy to give up but it will never easy to keep the persistence in doing something in the future”
If we just want only want to have easy life, happy life and we like to avoid obstacle instead of facing it with our best ability. We can join the hedonism group. Anyway… life has obstacles and problems, no matter who you are and where you are! The best choice that we can say to ourselves, “Never give up. Set your mind to see the obstacles in life as challenges. Never give up; we can always do our best in life to pass that time with a great attitude”
**Lina Kartasasmita** 7.02PM 10 February 2010
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