The music of my heart

“Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends.” 
― Alphonse de Lamartine

We passed twenty-six years of marriage on June 2017. We didn’t celebrate with anything special. It is actually good for people who have romantic side in their life to celebrate their anniversary with flowers, candle light dinner and diamond as the gift.

In my life I didn’t need those thing, on that day I usually do the reflection of my journey with my husband. I realized sometimes both of us were busy with our duties, we didn’t speak much about our daily activities. We seemed like two people listen to the same song with different harmony.

There was nothing wrong about it. We understood each other; we believed we were in the same track to spend our life together, but each of us needed to be alone sometimes.

As Kahlil Gibran said,

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” 
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Happy wedding anniversary my best friend and my husband, we might not listen to the same music, but we listen to our heart and our love.

Note: very late post

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta 15 December 2017 at 9.39 PM

The awesome Indonesian people

It was so common in my class that my students would ask me random questions especially about Indonesian culture.

“Lina, I don’t understand your people”

“Why?”

“Look, they like to sitting and talking for hours.”
“O… we call it ‘nongkrong’ ….”

“What the meaning of nongkrong?”

“Sitting, talking and actually doing nothing”

“O my goodness. And look at them. They are so happy and do you know they probably don’t make enough money. Do you think they have a life insurance or a lot of saving in their bank account? But my maid at home she doesn’t have a bank account. The money I gave to her … easily gone”

My other student always asked me

“When some of your people really want to live in United States, why do you still like to live in this country? Your country has no future because of the corruption and they hate each other because of religion or ethnic”

It was so hard for me to explain about those issues.

I found the way to explain to them at the end. Here was my explanation

“If you want to buy diamond, there are some criteria. We call 5 Cs it is color, clarity, carat, cut, and confidence. The quality of Indonesian people has 3 Cs.

The first C is “Collective”

Western people are individualist, but Indonesian people are not. We are considered very collective. You can see Indonesian people like to hang out during lunch. They go together, they eat together, shopping together. Even they go to toilet together. So it was so common when I was a teacher at regular school, my teenager student would ask, “Miss… May I go to the toilet with my friend?” Until now you can see some teenagers post their picture together in the toilet…

For Indonesian they don’t need insurance, they will help each other. One of the group members has problem the rest will help. They will collect the money or they will try to find out the solution.

The second C is “Care”

Indonesian people care so much about their friends or family, sometimes they care to the strangers. It is very common when we have a problem, our friends are more curious and even more stress than we are. Sometimes … in the middle of nowhere, people can ask, “Are you still single? Why are you still single? You know you are so pretty and let me introduce you to someone …”

I could say, “Your stress is not coming from your own problem, but your stress comes from people who care so much about you”

The last C is “Communicator”

Indonesian people are really great Communicator. They are so attached with their smart phone. They send text all the time. And they have more than one number, more than one cellphone. When they have only one cellphone but inside the phone they carry Dual SIM Card. They set their phone glued to the hand… They prefer to forget bringing the wallet and money instead of forgetting their smart phone. Because with the smart phone if they forget to bring the money, they still can text to borrow the money from their friends.

If you deny that … you can say …”No… I don’t really care and I am not a great communicator”

Please look at your phone, how many “WhatsApp” groups you have and how many people whom you chat with.

Base on those 3Cs character living in Indonesia is good because we can always count on our friends, we never walk alone and we always connect to each other’s.

No one knows about the future but at least we still can hope that Indonesia will be great because we are “The awesome Indonesian people”

**Lina Kartasasmita** 25 September 2017 at 10.12 PM

Walk together

Saturday, July 8, 2017 I ran to the mall to have lunch together with my daughter. She had been dealing with a difficult person and situation for a couple days before. I tried to be with her all the time when she had a problem. Lunchtime was one of the times we could discuss about any problem and we tried to find the solution.

After lunch, we needed to go to other place. I said, “I need to go to the toilet”

My daughter, “Sure mom, I will wait here”

After I am done, I saw a two years kid standing near the door.  And a nanny who talked to her, “You need to walk, I don’t want to carry you”

The kid was about to cry. I talked with her, “Why you don’t want to walk?”

She looked at me and she said, “I don’t want to walk”

I said to her, “You need to use your feet to walk so one day you can use to run … and you can run faster. Do you want to walk with me?”

She grabbed my hand and she walked with me.

I didn’t know her name or anything about her. We walked together from the toilet back to the shops area. I saw my daughter and I said to the little girl, “I need to go, now you can walk to your mother”

She refused again to walk and the nanny refused to carry her too.

I asked the nanny, “Where is her mother?”

The nanny, “They are in restaurant a little bit far from here”

I looked at the little girl again and asked, “Do you want me to go with you to meet your mother?”

She didn’t say anything, she hold my hand and dragged me walking with her.

I walked with her and my daughter took a picture from the back.

We reached the restaurant where the parents had their lunch there. The little girl’s mother was surprised and she thanked me for walking with her daughter.

I have two daughters in my life, and I always think; if I have time I will always want to walk together with them.

Simple lesson "Give your children a good example and walk together with them" #parenting101

“Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, teachers.”

― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, July 13, 2017 at 4.55PM

“The honor is mine”

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.”

― Tia Walker, The Inspired Caregiver: Finding Joy While Caring for Those You Love

Singapore June 22, 2017

It was a very hot day and I pushed my mom’s wheelchair to enter the Gardens by the bay as part of our short trip to Singapore. My mom can still walk properly but she couldn’t walk too far, so to make the trip enjoyable for her I always brought the wheelchair. The breeze touched us when we entered the flower dome.

There were many people there and they took pictures of the flowers. I saw an Indian couple in front of me, they are probably around my age or slightly older than me. The wife suddenly came to me, “May I take a picture with your mother?”

I was surprised but I let her do it. Aha… my mother might be famous after that picture uploaded in the social media with the right capture.

The husband showed me the picture he took with his cellphone. And they said, “Thank you” So I replied, “You are welcome”

The wife said again, “Thank you for bringing your mother to visit this place”

I tried to guess what in her mind was.

I just realized that she probably thought about the hassle of my trip because of the wheelchair. That is so true it takes a lot of effort to travel with elderly people. I think that is the same when we travel with babies or kids. When I pushed the wheelchair I thought about my first trip with my two little daughters back in 1995. I had to carry them and also I brought their stroller too. It was not easy at all but I could enjoy because they are so precious for me. I am my mother’s daughter and I believe I am precious for her.

It is not about hassle things to do if you like to serve someone whom you love. I am honored that I get the opportunity to serve my mother.

I think in every stage of our life and age, we have something to admire and to cherish. We are not getting old in a day; it is part of the process. Our life can be a good or bad example for others; it is our choice in life.

“Travel brings power and love back into your life.”

― Jalaluddin Rumi

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta June 28, 2017 at 9.48 PM