A dad without LOVE

Mahatma Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”

I should write this article two or three years ago, however I never forget the story but I didn't really spend time to write this. Two days ago I had a conversation with young man, he shared me a story and it reminded me to write this article. Here is the story:

His name is Jeff; I met him a couple years ago in the bakery where I used to buy bread for my family. The first time I met him, he asked me many question about the hospitality of his staffs and their service. I loved to give him inputs for his team. He was so happy and he recognized me as one regular customer. Jeff treated all his customers very well. It was easy to recognize him as the man with a big smile

One day I visited the shop and Jeff wasn't there. One of his staffs told me that Jeff’s father passed away so he couldn't come. I sent him my deep condolence message. Two days later he called me and he thanked me for my message.  I mentioned that I also thanked him for sending SMS on my husband’s birthday.  He said that he knew my husband’s birthday because my daughters bought a cake for their dad. Then he continued telling about his dad. He said, “I hated my dad for always hitting my mom and me; he didn't allow me to go to school. My dad was an alcoholic. I had to work by myself to pay for my tuition” His voice was so deep and sad. I could imagine how painful his life was.  I said to him, “Jeff, you should be proud of yourself. Look at you; you are a very nice person”
Jeff continued, “Yes, at the end I thanked my dad for giving me a hard time. I learnt in a hard way to find myself. I don’t want to be like him. My dad has a miserable life and he never realized that. He made his family suffer. Looking back to my dad’s life, I finally forgave him”

It was such an amazing story that I heard. Jeff made a clear decision in his life. He wanted to be a better person; he continued his life with positive attitude. He said, “The hospitality is important, we should have it in our heart and it will work outside us to change ourselves to be a better person” I saluted him for his great attitude.

Jeff could forgive his dad; it is not something easy to do.  He mentioned to me, “I always love to see your family. I could see how your husband loves his children. Something that I don’t have in my life”

I said to Jeff.” You didn't have the love from your dad but you become a good dad for your children, you never got support from your dad but you are a very supportive dad for your children. At the end of your miserable and hard life, you become a winner. You chose to be a winner. You forgave your dad and you have a wonderful personality to be proud of”

A parent should love their children, so the children will grow up without missing “Love”. Jeff is a rare example person who could change his bitterness to be a sweet ending.

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.
William Jennings Bryan


**Lina Kartasasmita**Jakarta, 29 November 2012 at 7 PM

The Manual Book

Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
Epictetus

One day I had a conversation with a friend, he said, “I want my children to be rich. I was poor when I was young and now I want to give them everything”. That was probably a common wish that every parents want to do for their children. The question is; how much money we should give to make them prosper? What if we as parents can not give them prosperity?

Money, position and fame are the most wanted things in human life. We might chase after them in our life. When we will stop chasing it and start to enjoy our life, no one knows. It should come from our heart.

I realized when I started to think what I wanted to give to my children. Since I couldn’t estimate how much money to give for them, I abandon the idea. My husband shared me a story about his friend, who spent all his family’s money in just a couple months. I imagined the parents left the money but they forgot to give the manual book how to use the money wisely.

I think I will give my children the best manual for them to manage their life, to work with a good attitude, and to be what they want to be. The truth is we can not assure everything in the future. The only thing we can do to tell our children as Epictetus said, “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants”

**Lina Kartasasmita** Dec 6, 2012 at 2.44PM

Love is a freedom

The house was so empty and we had dinner … it was only two of us. It is so hard to be in an empty nest; I always miss my children.  Out of the blue I started to say to my husband,” I miss our babies… I miss our babies …. I miss our babies”
Suddenly my husband said, “You are a great mother, you love our children so much but you let them go. You know my friend; he didn't let his children to be far away from him, and the children have to follow the dad’s will. I know how big your love for our children is but you let them go far away from you.”

I said, “Our children have their own life and dreams, we can not keep them for our ego. I always want to see them every minute in my life but it is only for the sake of my happiness. They have to chase their dream not follow my will or my desire. My happiness is to see they become what they want to be. Love is a freedom.”

That conversation reminded me; in 1986 my husband bought me a small poster said, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they are yours; if they don’t, they never were”

That statement was so true. If we love someone we need to set them free. Love is a freedom. I have seen couple who attached each other and one of them lost the freedom to enjoy their own character. Someone has totally lost their ability to express themselves. This kind of relationship killed their character.

I truly understood, “Love is serving, love is giving, love is caring, love is passion… but love is also a freedom” If we love someone and they have to follow our ego. We not really love that person. It is only a selfish love.

Epictetus said, “Freedom is the right to live as we wish”

**Lina Kartasasmita** Dec 6, 2012 at 4.07PM

“EVERLASTING LIFE”

Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today James Dean.

A couple months ago I was shocked when I got news that one of my elementary school passed away.  Actually I haven’t met her for a long time, but through Facebook I was able to connect with her.  One day I got a reminder that her birthday was coming and I was surprised to see many people still posted in her wall “Happy birthday in heaven, May you have a blast celebration”.  It seemed she still could read her Facebook account. It made me wonder what the Internet providers could reach heaven, or what God’s Facebook account.  My imagination went far to heaven and I got the image of birthday party with angels and God. They brought me into a great imagination in Heaven people are still busy to check their Facebook account. Maybe someone sell the computer there or smartphone too.  Anyway if I die I prefer people to send me a prayer instead of writing in my Facebook wall, because I couldn’t trust Internet providers in heaven

Based on the experience I said to my friend, “If you want to live forever, first you need to give your Facebook account to your children and let them keep it for you. You will be still alive in the cyber world and sometimes they call it heaven. You can still post something from heaven. But please don’t send me any invitation to join you there” My friend laughed out loud.  Amazing how the cyber networking works.

It was funny how people tried to remember others who passed away; my question is “why we did it when they had gone already, why we didn’t do it when they were alive”. It was a great lesson for me that I should appreciate people when they are still alive and they still can see my attention and love.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever Mahatma Gandhi.

**Lina Kartasasmita** 11.11.2012 at 6.46 PM Jakarta 

After 40

Note: This article was my writing speech for the Area J4 humorous speech contest on 28 September 2012. It was the first time I joined the humorous speech contest. I won the second place in my club, but suddenly I have to compete to area level. I won the second place.

Honestly I didn’t follow all my writing but I did well at that moment.

When I don’t have any burden in my mind to win the competition, I already win myself before the contest.

After 40

A couple months ago I had a high school reunion party, it was time to show off a bit after more than 27 years.  I prepared for that night. I chose my best dress, so I would look younger and sexier. Unfortunately when I just arrived at the front door and wrote my name … one skinny lady came and said, “ Hi… Lina! Wows… long time not see…. Looked at you… O…  you have extra lines under your eyes. Do you use night cream? And what happened with your hair? Your highlight color is not right; you have silver color. Lina … no worry, I will help you. You just need to use the right product for your face and hair. You will be younger than today” Just in a minute she turned me down. Finally I knew she is an anti aging sales person.

Ladies and Gentlemen: contest chair and honorable judges…

When I prepared to join the reunion, I was proud that I still looked okay in my standard. I forgot that my age is over 40 and I am not in high school anymore.  There are some facts about AFTER the age of 40, some people called it “Middle Age crisis” And we have to agree with the saying “ Life begins at 40”. I think that is true, … we begin to have gray hair and we begin to forget and we need reading glasses.

More than that we are in the 3 high level, High Blood pressure, High cholesterol and High cost. All of sudden we are also famous for the anti aging and life insurance agent. I think after 40 we not only need anti aging product but also anti gravitation product because parts of our body go to the south instead of going to the north. The body changes from sexy to saggy.  Seriously now I think I am in the middle age crisis problem too.

A week after the reunion my anti aging friend insisted to meet me.  She showed me some products, “Lina you have to use this cream in the morning, and this is for your eyes, this is night cream… this is wrinkles free product…and she kept going and going to explain…

When I heard the price in total…I was shocked, It was millions rupiah. It squishes my pocket.  Trying to be smart I need a proof before buying the products so I politely rejected her by saying… “I need to discuss with my husband”

I directly called my other friend, asking her opinion.  “Do you use these products? Is that good” She said, “Lina… I buy HOPE’  “Hope… I think the brand is not hope”

“Yeah … I called all the anti aging product HOPE… we just buy Hope… Hope it works… hope the wrinkles gone… hope we look younger…hope we still have money to buy more HOPE”

Definitely I don’t want to buy HOPE… I want something that really works for me to keep me young.  I did the research how people can stay younger than their ages.  I stuck into one advice saying “Always learn something new”

Some of them were going back to school or campus, they tried to learn cooking, music and they involve in new activities. That is a great idea.

Anyway if you cannot go back to school or you couldn’t find anything to learn right now, you can try my smart advice:

Buy the smart phone… It called smart phone means you will need more than 3 months to explore how to use your smart phone. Definitely the phone is smarter than you. With your smart phone you can learn how to play ANGRY BIRD until you really angry at that bird because you cannot win.

Ladies and Gentlemen: there are so many advices to follow, but I think, we don’t have to worry what people think about our appearance… we are not alone. Everyone will walk in the same part.

After 40, it is not about getting wiser or wider, or from sexy to saggy, it is more about the spirit of life.  It is about what we have in our spirit.

Every stage of ages has it own challenge to handle. After 40 is only one of them

As Lynn Johnston said in for Better of for Worse “

 No matter how old you are, there's always something good to look forward to.

**lina kartasasmita Jakarta 24 September 2012. Revision 7 October 2012** 

If they die now…

“If your children look up to you, you’ve made a success of life’s biggest job.” Unknown.

Every time I met my student and he usually asked me, “Lina, how about your daughters?” I always loved to answer his questions. I always told him about my daughters’ achievement. He always smiled and said,  “Lina, you are so proud of your daughters and you always full of love for them” I smiled and said, “I am blessed to be their mom” Both of us smiled and shared the happiness as parents.  

One day, he asked me totally different question, “Lina, I have one question for you. You have spent money to send them studying abroad, what you will do if they die now?”

O… I never thought I had to imagine about that. Sometimes in life, we saw people lost someone they loved and we never thought it would happen to us. Have I thought about it? Yes, 19 years ago I had an argument with my doctor when I wanted him to do the ligation because I wouldn’t have any more babies. My doctor came with an argument what if my babies died and I wanted more babies. At that time my response was “what if I am die, they don’t have a mother” I realized I couldn’t control life, I just could think what the best at that moment. I could plan the future but I couldn’t hold it. I could enjoy the moment right now, not the past and not the future.  The answer became easy. Dead is the certain thing in life, we will die one day. We only have to accept it whether we like it or not, we have to face it.

Now the question was related to the money I spent for my daughters.  I thought as the accountant, who had to make a balance sheet and to count “profit or loss”

Raising children is not a business where we can calculate “profit or loss” I remembered once my friend told me, “ Why you have to spend more money by sending your daughters to study abroad, at the end they might be only become a housewife” My answer at that time was, “I just know my responsibility as parent to support my children to achieve their dreams, to help them in exploring their ability and to help them to be themselves. Their dreams are not my dreams, so I only can support them to spread their wings and then let them fly to achieve their destiny” There is not “profit or loss” in raising children, we build a person, we build a character and we build a human being. What we spend for their education, it called investment for their life.

My student looked at me, he still waited my answer. I took a deep breath, “ If they die now, I only can learn to accept that, dead is the real certain thing, we can not avoid it. I will never regret that I send them abroad, money is one thing in life … but if the money could give them great experiences in their life, it is part of the purpose to spend the money. I love them in my life and I keep telling them that I love them. Either they or I die first it doesn’t matter; I want them to know they are precious in my life. As long as they know I love them… I will never regret it. I will thank them for all the lesson I have learnt in raising them and the memories we have together”

My student gave me a big hug and said, “You are a good mother”  

I am still learning to be a good mother for my children and I will learn from them about love and happiness.  Raising children is always a blessing in my life and blessing is considered “profit”. I hope my daughters can say one day that I am a good mother for them and I will achieve as Brian Tracy said: 

         

 “If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.”

**Lina Kartasasmita, Jakarta, 7 October 2012 at 7.25PM **

JUST A SIMPLE LOVE

My dearest husband Jozef, Today I will not write you the same notes. I always have thousand words to write about you and thousand stories to share with you. We have been sharing our life for twenty one years together. I am so grateful that we can go through problems and obstacles in our marriage. We still can enjoy walking hand in hand together. You are not a man who will give me a diamond ring, but you always give supports so I can shine in my life. You are not a romantic man who will prepare a candle light dinner, but you always make sure I can have my favorite food. You are not a man who will buy me the luxurious branded bag; you prefer to give me a simple present that I can write notes and articles. You show your love in a very simple way and it makes me so special. It doesn’t matter if you can not be so romantic, the most important that I always know that you always give me your support. I have your shoulder to cry on… I have your hand to hold me when I am weak. I always hear that you pray for me. These are definitely more than romantic for me. I appreciate those simple things you have done for me. When others struggle in their marriage, we can still wake up every morning with thousand of love. There is not something very special about our marriage life. We just keep learning to enjoy every moment we have, to accept every weakness of us and to forgive every mistake we made. Happy anniversary my dear husband, there will be no new promises for you; I just know we will keep our love as simple as it is and we can keep enjoying our precious life together. Thank you for our precious memories in life! June 22, 2012 **Lina Kartasasmita** (Jakarta, July 6, 2012 at 11.57PM) Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action. Mother Teresa

Garbage collector

The title of this article came into my mind while I was standing in the middle of buildings in one area of factory outlet in San Marcos, Texas. It was the second times I drove from Austin to San Marcos, because my mom loved to go around the shops. I looked around the branded stuff and I was tempted to buy something. There was a battle in my mind every time my hand grabbed something, there was always a question, “Do I need to buy it or just nice to have it?” I hope I don’t need any more battles in my mind about shopping. There is no denying situation; I used to be the person who loves to collect good stuff. I have a collection of small things but now all my collection was sitting dusty in the cupboard. I remembered spending so much time to find my collection and I adored them so much when I got it. Then time goes by … The excitement was gone. Sometimes I look at my collection and brought the memories back into my mind… I remembered I spent so much time walking from shop to shop, I didn’t care what my mom and my dad felt at that moment. They seemed happy to see my happiness to fill my ego. Maybe at that age, I thought my happiness equals to how many collection I had. One day I read “Mother Teresa’s book” and I was amazed how come she lived with only two clothes. And I found her statement that “We are not living base on our needs but more into our desire” We only need two pair of shoes but we have more than dozen pairs of shoes. After reading the book, I meditated and looked around my house. I saw all my collection turned into garbage, because I never really needed them in my life. I unconsciously turned into a Garbage collector. At the end of my life we have nothing. Finally I decided to learn as John Stuart Mill quotation. “I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.” Anyway it was hard to keep away my desire to have something good or any cute collection. It is not easy but it is possible. I started to increase my desire to share the love instead of the desire of collecting stuff. I find by sharing the love I have thousands of stories and memories in my mind and it becomes my collection now. Thanks, God. HE allowed me to learn, HE blessed me in many ways but HE didn’t give me the opportunity to spend more money and to be a garbage collector in life. HE touched my heart to see every thing in life will vanish. In the middle of the store I kept saying to myself, “Stop being a garbage collector” And I called my collection now as “Desires collection” In life I see the desires become a strong temptation and motivation. It is my choice to keep the right desires in life so I can collect precious things in life. “Dear God, please stop me to be a garbage collector. Give me a strong desire to share the love” **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, May 9, 2012 at 11.22PM

“Just delete it”

Once Dalai Lama said, “The purpose of our lives is to be happy” The statement is very strong and simple. How many of us believe in that statement? How many of us think to be in that stage of happiness? I was in the talk show “All is well” from Ajahn Brahm the author of the book “Who ordered this truckload of dung? Or Opening the door of your heart” He is a great author and a great monk. In his book, he shared simple funny stories to open our heart to see happiness in every single thing in life and see problems in positive perspective. Ajahn Brahm told one story that in life we used to show our pictures, wedding pictures, and graduation pictures. All pictures are good pictures with happy faces or happy moments in life. We wouldn’t put our bad pictures. However we all like to keep the bad memories in our mind. It might be because we want to hide those bad memories from other people or we love the bad memories and they become our attachment. If we love to show the world, we are happy by showing our best picture or our happy moments in life. We forget the rule by keeping the bad memories in our mind. Today, my husband said to me, “I still remember that time when you refused to go with me to see the mall for only an hour” It was happened seven years ago, but it sounded just happened yesterday. The reflection of his eyes showed his upset moment. Ajahn Brahm was right… we captured and kept our bad memories deeply in our mind and it hurt more when it came up. I wished I could reach a delete button to erase that moment in his mind. Unfortunately I couldn’t do it, unless he did it by himself. Today I promised to myself to delete bad memories in my mind; I want to categorize the bad memories in life as a junk mail or spam. I want to restart my brain and mind to just recall the happy memories. As the result I reach the purpose of my life to be happy in this present. Every time the reflection of the past pop up in my mind, I can always smile. If the choice is ours… why we can not choose to fill our mind with happy memories and positive spirit! Instead of keeping the bad memories in our mind, it is better to recall thousands good memories in life. I used to remember my mistake and it hunted me for many years. That bad memory became a silent killer for my happiness; it made me to label myself as a bad person. In fact I also made many good things in life and I didn’t count at all. I created peace in my mind and I learnt to forgive myself. Confucius said, “To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it” Stop keeping bad memories, just delete it. Don’t let the bad memories postpone your happiness!! **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, April 7, 2012, at 7.05PM .

A piece of cheese cake

It was one of my busy days; suddenly I got a message, “Miss, do you want a chicken pie?” I was so hungry at that moment; however I couldn’t escape from my teaching time. The young man came to give me two pieces of chicken pie while I was starving during my teaching time. I was touched by that simple action. He is a brother of one of my students. We knew each other through a social network. World is so small and we met in the same building. I promised to have a chat with him during my lunch time. Right after teaching, I saw him standing and there was something in his hand. He gave me that box and I asked him, “What is this?” He said, “A cheesecake for you Miss” I was wondering, “Why do you buy me a cheesecake? “ He walked besides me and he said, “O… I saw in your status something about you want a cheesecake for your birthday” Ops… I forgot that I wrote in my face book about a cheesecake on my birthday. When I wrote it I didn’t think someone would keep in his mind. This young man gave me something for my birthday and it was a simple thing that really made my day. Sometimes in life, we want to impress people by giving the most expensive gift for birthday celebration or any celebration. We value the present by price, so … we forget the present is not about the price but how we value the present itself. The value of giving is a power of attention. The power of a simple attention will bring the value of other’s people life. This young man gave a great example in giving. He knows very well “the value of giving attention” and he dares to apply it in his life. I appreciated the cheesecake more when I ate it after a long day teaching. Thanks, Felix for a sweet gift and a great attention. Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. Jim Rohn **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, April 6, 2012, at 10.42 PM

Let’s grow old together

Age is a matter of feeling, not of years. Washington Irving My husband Jozef is not an expressive person, no wonder if his friends always say he has standard smile and standard expression. It was Sunday, right after church, we were in the car to visit our parents. Suddenly he said, “You have more gray hair now” I looked at him and asked, “Do you mind if I don’t want to color my hair?” He gave me a standard smile and said, “It is up to you as long as you are happy” I replied him, “I am happy with my gray hair and wrinkles in my face and it is my choice” We just celebrated our birthday in the same month. He is just a year older than me and we will be married for twenty one years this year. The journey of our relationship started since we were in high school. Seventy five percents of our ages we spent together. Actually both of us are getting older in the same time. We had a discussion about old age along the way. It is common; when we are getting older we want to keep our youth appearance. Some of us would do everything to look younger. There is nothing wrong about it. I just have my own opinion about getting older. We are going to be old and no one can reject that situation. Some questions always pop up in my mind, “How do we accept old age and be happy with those changes in life?” I was in the rejection stage when my hair started getting gray, until one day my daughters said to me, “Mom is okay you look a bit older as long as your spirit is always young” It hit my mind… everybody will be in the same stage of ages. I will not be alone! Maybe some of my friends looked younger than me, but who knows the quality of the spirit in their life. I started learning to accept the condition. I am happy with those changes in my life. Getting older is a great lesson to learn about all blessings in my life. It is a time for me to see how ages changes my body and my appearance. Life is a great teacher! I just need acceptance in life. Confucius said, “Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator” The discussion has to be stopped at the time we reached our destination, my husband held my hand and he said, “Let’s grow old together” To be happy, we must be true to nature and carry our age along with us. William Hazlitt **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta April 5, 2012 at 8.05PM

A glass of mixed ice

The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you.
Anita Roddick

Walking through the security door and receptionist is my ritual every day. Sometimes I have to do it more than four times a day. No wonder if the security staffs and receptionists know me very well. I always greet them with smile and sometimes I tell a joke or just a short motivational story. Since they knew I am a teacher, they love to ask me some random questions or to teach them English language. I was happy to share my phone number with them, so they can send me any questions. As the result I got many SMS and questions, but I do love to share in my life.

Last Friday, I got SMS from one of the receptionists who liked to ask me to translate for her. The SMS said she bought me a glass of mixed ice and she put it in the front desk. Yes I remembered, she promised to buy me an ice every time I did a translation for her. Actually she was not longer working in that building, but she came just to bring me a glass of mixed ice. I was touched.

After two hours teaching, I ran to the front desk to pick up a glass of mixed ice. It already melted and became water, but I still could taste the sweetness of kindness when I ate that mixed ice. I felt an avocado, jackfruit and a slice of coconut in that sweet syrup just like I felt the mixed of sweet blessings in my life.

Barbara de Angelis said, “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver”


**Lina Kartasasmita** 4.55PM, Jakarta March 7, 2012

Just a little kindness …

It was in the afternoon, I sat in the corner of a coffee shop. I always sit at that coffee shop to teach my student or I just wait someone there. On that day I looked around and I observed people were busy ordering drinks. My mind was frozen a bit to capture the moments. I didn’t have anything that I wanted to do at that time. My mind was browsing randomly my memories. Out of sudden my heart told me to do something for someone. As John Ruskin said, “A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money”

Right away my mind went to my student who would bring her dad to Singapore to get some treatment. I really cared about my student, she is not only my student but she becomes my sister. I sent her message whether she needed any help to find a good doctor for her dad. I got her message yes … she needed it.

With the power of internet, I sent email to my handsome friend in Singapore, I asked him about the doctors. And in a couple minutes I got the doctors’ name. I forwarded the information to my student. I always trust my friend in Singapore; he always gives me good doctors. I think I have something in common with my friend, he loves to help people and so do I.

Time passed by, a week after that I got a thank you note email from my student. She put a big effort to write a very clear email to thank my friend in Singapore for helping her to find a right doctor for her dad. She was happy with her decision to choose the doctor and she was happy dealing with the doctor. I was happy to read that and then I forwarded that email to my handsome friend in Singapore. He was as happy as I was and he wrote that email just made his day. I am blessed to have a friend like him.

I learn today, as easy as my fingers push the keyboard to forward the email; I transfer the happiness from my student to my friend. Spreading the happiness brings more happiness into my life.

I agreed hundred percents with Lao Tzu,” Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love”


**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta February 9, 2012, at 5.33PM

Miss Lina, How do you enjoy your life?

It was Saturday night two days before Chinese New Year 2012. I got the invitation from a good friend to have “fine dining at French Restaurant”. In my life I only had a very few time having “fine dining”, I believed not more than ten times. It was a bit awkward for me being surrounding with many forks and knifes, sometimes I made a joke about how difficult to recognize which knife can be used to cut or to kill, and it was easier for me to recognize the chopstick because they didn’t have “left or right”. Anyway my friend is a very handsome and extremely smart I couldn’t reject the opportunity to know people better, especially when the setting was in the one of the most expensive restaurant in Jakarta.

I was in a very nice restaurant with three handsome men. We talked about random topic and suddenly one of them asked me, “Miss Lina, how do you enjoy your life? “ It was like a table topic speech for me. Yes… that was really a good question for me. I don’t really like shopping; I don’t like branded stuffs, I don’t really aware with fashion and all the ladies’ hobbies to be beautiful.

It was probably hard for them to believe me. I have nothing to hide about my life. I enjoy every moment in my life. I teach every day and I become a friend for my students; I meet people from different countries. I enjoy sharing stories and I think that is what I love to do in my life and I have a big passion to do it. I see my work and my personal life is like a chocolate cake. It blended together… nothing can be separated if we want to enjoy the real chocolate cake. I put love into my work so I never think I am working… I do it with love and it becomes my happiness. Every minutes of my working time is enjoyable for me. I like to quote from Ernie Banks, “Work? I never worked a day in my life. I always loved what I was doing, had a passion for it”

And then come out a very detail question, “If you are not teaching… how you enjoy your life?” If I am not teaching, I like to write article. I think the most enjoyable moment for me if I can have a cup of coffee and to listen to light music or to share with someone about life. Once again, it is too simple.

Probably they need to ask me with multiple choice of answer. I am really a very simple person, if God gives me more time to enjoy my life; I want to repeat millions times chatting, playing and dancing with my daughters because they are the eyes of my heart. I want to build memories in the time I have. I want to enjoy the time with my husband and to write more articles.

My husband has asked me, “Do you want to buy a new house?” My answer was, “Do we need one?” My husband was curious to know more,” What do you want then?” I told my husband, “I don’t need any beautiful house because I am the one who have to take care of that. I just need you to be with me… we enjoy our time together …I want to walk hand in hand with you and I want to travel around the world and I will drink a cup coffee while you can take pictures with your camera. We will watch the music performance and we will build the memories for the rest of our life”

How do I enjoy my life? I enjoy every present, every moment and I do enjoy it. As Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Life is available only in the present moment.”

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, 30 January 2012, 8.39PM

Life is about the spirit of life

If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the spirit.
Oprah Winfrey

It was December 13, 2011 we arrived safely in Texas and I was so grateful for the opportunity to bring back my mom to visit United States. I wanted to share my belief about “Life is not about age, life is about the spirit of life itself”.

My mom’s last trip to United States was 22 years ago and she was 55 years old at that year. She didn’t want to visit USA again because it considered a long trip in the airplane, especially when she got older and older. She was worried about her health, her legs and there were many reasons not to go to America. I thought, maybe the biggest reason she didn’t want to be a burden for somebody during a long trip.

In July 2011, it was two days before her 76 years birthday at one o’clock in the morning, my daughter woke me up and said, “Mom … wake up… please wake up.. Something happened with grandma” My daughters always slept in my mom’s room. I jumped from my bed and rushed to my mom’s room. I tried to wake her up but there were no response from her. She was unconscious at that time. We were panic and started to call everybody to help us. I was shocked and I tried to hold my mom with my hand. I couldn’t move her at all. Finally someone helped us to carry my mom into the car and we brought her to the hospital. My daughters and I prayed and cried a long the way and I kept saying, “Mom please … wake up” She got first aid in emergency room; her sugar blood pressure was too low. The doctor said, “Thanks God, you are about on time to bring your mom here. If you are late, she would be in coma forever” The doctor’s statement tore my emotion. I prayed to God, “God, Please give her another chance… Please give me another chance to make her happy” I lost my energy… I cried and I saw my daughters and my family was in tears. My brothers came directly to the hospital. Time is a valuable thing in life and life is short. Sometimes I took time for granted so I didn’t realize I could always loose the opportunity in life. My mind went back at the moment when I lost my dad, he passed away during his trip and he came back in his coffin. The trauma was still in my mind. Now I had to see my mom was in crisis.

A couple minutes after the crisis, my mom awoke. We all were happy to see her and I promised in my heart. I would give my mom a motivation to bring her health to the maximum. I believed as Deepak Chopra said, “We are not victims of aging, sickness and death. These are part of scenery, not the seer, who is immune to any form of change. This seer is the spirit, the expression of eternal being.”

I witness many people with limited body abilities; they still can do a lot of thing in their life and most of the time because they have only a great spirit in their life. I started to set up my mom’s mind. We had a trip to Bali the next week to celebrate her birthday and I decided not to cancel the trip. I said, “Mom, you can do the trip. I will not cancel the trip”

A week after that, we went to Bali for five days and my mom could enjoy the trip. I gave her another motivation, “Mom, you can still travel to America. You can visit your grandchildren’s campus. We can go to Disney world… Let’s keep your health in the prime condition” I saw the motivation worked so well. The spirit of life took over my mom’s ages; her health was getting better and better.

I always believe in philosophy, life is about spirit not about the body. I had experiences in life when I was hospitalized and I faced surgery, I kept saying to myself, “It is okay if something happens with my body but the spirit of life should be there all the time”

I made my wish came true, I brought my mom back to visit America. I was so happy and she was happy to see her grandchildren in America. We were back to visit Disney World in Florida. She needed wheelchair to go around the Disney Park, but she made it. I was worried actually but there was always a whisper voice in my heart, “You can do it… You can do it”

The trip is a great lesson learns about the spirit of life and I agreed with James A. Garfield, “If wrinkles must be written on our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old.”


**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, January 22, 2012 at 10.46PM