Where have I been?

It was a short Easter holiday; we were at Universal studio in Singapore. I was sitting when my husband took a picture, I was curious to see. I looked tired in that picture and I saw my wrinkles around my eyes. I looked around I saw my daughter, she is growing up now. I can not hold her with my both hand anymore, she is taller than me. I remember so clearly when the first time she went to Singapore she was six months old, so small and she was always in my embrace. Now she is going to be 18 years. The questions came into my mind, where have I been? Do I suddenly become old? The answer was in my mind. I was in that process but I passed it without my awareness. I was busy with daily life routine. From time to time, I didn't realize about myself, I was busy with my babies and served my family. Now I looked into myself I couldn't recognize myself. Sometimes I do hope to have time for myself, but my minds always drag me into my family. This is the reality we live as if we chase after tomorrow and we try to forget yesterday, but we pass the present without awareness then we miss the present. We are not belongs to this moment. The lesson is so simple and clear that we should aware of this moment at the present time. We know exactly what we have been through. Time goes by and we just suddenly feel so old. I gave myself an advice, I should practice to be more aware of the present and to enjoy every moment which I have in life. Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha Finished in College Station, Texas on August 22, 2011 at 2.30 pm **Lina Kartasasmita**

“God loves them more”

In College Station-Texas, it was a very hot day; my body refused to go outside. I stayed in the apartment. My daughters were busy with their laptop and I just watched them silently. Suddenly I was so sad; I only had a few days to stay there. I remembered my friend wrote to me, “Lina, this year you will have a total empty nest; both of your daughters will study abroad” That statement was just a reminder for me. The most important for me “how I have to face the total empty nest” I am just a human; I have worries in my minds as other people have. It has been many times I asked myself, “Are my babies okay there; do they eat right; do they sleep well… can they solve their problem? What should I do if they have problem while I am miles away from them?” Thousands of questions come from my worries. I knew that we could set our mind to be positive or negative. And it was our privilege to choose. I learnt that worries came into our mind because we allowed them to come into our mind and we let them to control our mind. I didn’t want worries control my mind, so I decided to set my mind. It was time for me to think about the truth which could help me to build a strong mind. I claimed “I love my children so much, but what I can give to them is limited. I can not be with them all the time. Only God can give them everything in this world, because God has unlimited power and love” Wonderful statement came into my mind, and I posted in my Facebook status. Question: How will you set your mind when your children miles away from you? Answer: 1. I love them but God loves them more 2. I can take care of them but God takes care of them more than I do 3. I see their dreams are bigger than themselves. This statement will be my strong reminder when worries try to break into my mind. I know I am just a human and worries are common thing in life. I just want to learn that I will not allow worries to be the master of my mind. As Mohandas Gandhi said; There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever. Mohandas Gandhi **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta September 6, 2011 at 3.35 PM