“Just delete it”

Once Dalai Lama said, “The purpose of our lives is to be happy” The statement is very strong and simple. How many of us believe in that statement? How many of us think to be in that stage of happiness? I was in the talk show “All is well” from Ajahn Brahm the author of the book “Who ordered this truckload of dung? Or Opening the door of your heart” He is a great author and a great monk. In his book, he shared simple funny stories to open our heart to see happiness in every single thing in life and see problems in positive perspective. Ajahn Brahm told one story that in life we used to show our pictures, wedding pictures, and graduation pictures. All pictures are good pictures with happy faces or happy moments in life. We wouldn’t put our bad pictures. However we all like to keep the bad memories in our mind. It might be because we want to hide those bad memories from other people or we love the bad memories and they become our attachment. If we love to show the world, we are happy by showing our best picture or our happy moments in life. We forget the rule by keeping the bad memories in our mind. Today, my husband said to me, “I still remember that time when you refused to go with me to see the mall for only an hour” It was happened seven years ago, but it sounded just happened yesterday. The reflection of his eyes showed his upset moment. Ajahn Brahm was right… we captured and kept our bad memories deeply in our mind and it hurt more when it came up. I wished I could reach a delete button to erase that moment in his mind. Unfortunately I couldn’t do it, unless he did it by himself. Today I promised to myself to delete bad memories in my mind; I want to categorize the bad memories in life as a junk mail or spam. I want to restart my brain and mind to just recall the happy memories. As the result I reach the purpose of my life to be happy in this present. Every time the reflection of the past pop up in my mind, I can always smile. If the choice is ours… why we can not choose to fill our mind with happy memories and positive spirit! Instead of keeping the bad memories in our mind, it is better to recall thousands good memories in life. I used to remember my mistake and it hunted me for many years. That bad memory became a silent killer for my happiness; it made me to label myself as a bad person. In fact I also made many good things in life and I didn’t count at all. I created peace in my mind and I learnt to forgive myself. Confucius said, “To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it” Stop keeping bad memories, just delete it. Don’t let the bad memories postpone your happiness!! **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, April 7, 2012, at 7.05PM .

A piece of cheese cake

It was one of my busy days; suddenly I got a message, “Miss, do you want a chicken pie?” I was so hungry at that moment; however I couldn’t escape from my teaching time. The young man came to give me two pieces of chicken pie while I was starving during my teaching time. I was touched by that simple action. He is a brother of one of my students. We knew each other through a social network. World is so small and we met in the same building. I promised to have a chat with him during my lunch time. Right after teaching, I saw him standing and there was something in his hand. He gave me that box and I asked him, “What is this?” He said, “A cheesecake for you Miss” I was wondering, “Why do you buy me a cheesecake? “ He walked besides me and he said, “O… I saw in your status something about you want a cheesecake for your birthday” Ops… I forgot that I wrote in my face book about a cheesecake on my birthday. When I wrote it I didn’t think someone would keep in his mind. This young man gave me something for my birthday and it was a simple thing that really made my day. Sometimes in life, we want to impress people by giving the most expensive gift for birthday celebration or any celebration. We value the present by price, so … we forget the present is not about the price but how we value the present itself. The value of giving is a power of attention. The power of a simple attention will bring the value of other’s people life. This young man gave a great example in giving. He knows very well “the value of giving attention” and he dares to apply it in his life. I appreciated the cheesecake more when I ate it after a long day teaching. Thanks, Felix for a sweet gift and a great attention. Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. Jim Rohn **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, April 6, 2012, at 10.42 PM

Let’s grow old together

Age is a matter of feeling, not of years. Washington Irving My husband Jozef is not an expressive person, no wonder if his friends always say he has standard smile and standard expression. It was Sunday, right after church, we were in the car to visit our parents. Suddenly he said, “You have more gray hair now” I looked at him and asked, “Do you mind if I don’t want to color my hair?” He gave me a standard smile and said, “It is up to you as long as you are happy” I replied him, “I am happy with my gray hair and wrinkles in my face and it is my choice” We just celebrated our birthday in the same month. He is just a year older than me and we will be married for twenty one years this year. The journey of our relationship started since we were in high school. Seventy five percents of our ages we spent together. Actually both of us are getting older in the same time. We had a discussion about old age along the way. It is common; when we are getting older we want to keep our youth appearance. Some of us would do everything to look younger. There is nothing wrong about it. I just have my own opinion about getting older. We are going to be old and no one can reject that situation. Some questions always pop up in my mind, “How do we accept old age and be happy with those changes in life?” I was in the rejection stage when my hair started getting gray, until one day my daughters said to me, “Mom is okay you look a bit older as long as your spirit is always young” It hit my mind… everybody will be in the same stage of ages. I will not be alone! Maybe some of my friends looked younger than me, but who knows the quality of the spirit in their life. I started learning to accept the condition. I am happy with those changes in my life. Getting older is a great lesson to learn about all blessings in my life. It is a time for me to see how ages changes my body and my appearance. Life is a great teacher! I just need acceptance in life. Confucius said, “Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator” The discussion has to be stopped at the time we reached our destination, my husband held my hand and he said, “Let’s grow old together” To be happy, we must be true to nature and carry our age along with us. William Hazlitt **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta April 5, 2012 at 8.05PM