After 40

Note: This article was my writing speech for the Area J4 humorous speech contest on 28 September 2012. It was the first time I joined the humorous speech contest. I won the second place in my club, but suddenly I have to compete to area level. I won the second place.

Honestly I didn’t follow all my writing but I did well at that moment.

When I don’t have any burden in my mind to win the competition, I already win myself before the contest.

After 40

A couple months ago I had a high school reunion party, it was time to show off a bit after more than 27 years.  I prepared for that night. I chose my best dress, so I would look younger and sexier. Unfortunately when I just arrived at the front door and wrote my name … one skinny lady came and said, “ Hi… Lina! Wows… long time not see…. Looked at you… O…  you have extra lines under your eyes. Do you use night cream? And what happened with your hair? Your highlight color is not right; you have silver color. Lina … no worry, I will help you. You just need to use the right product for your face and hair. You will be younger than today” Just in a minute she turned me down. Finally I knew she is an anti aging sales person.

Ladies and Gentlemen: contest chair and honorable judges…

When I prepared to join the reunion, I was proud that I still looked okay in my standard. I forgot that my age is over 40 and I am not in high school anymore.  There are some facts about AFTER the age of 40, some people called it “Middle Age crisis” And we have to agree with the saying “ Life begins at 40”. I think that is true, … we begin to have gray hair and we begin to forget and we need reading glasses.

More than that we are in the 3 high level, High Blood pressure, High cholesterol and High cost. All of sudden we are also famous for the anti aging and life insurance agent. I think after 40 we not only need anti aging product but also anti gravitation product because parts of our body go to the south instead of going to the north. The body changes from sexy to saggy.  Seriously now I think I am in the middle age crisis problem too.

A week after the reunion my anti aging friend insisted to meet me.  She showed me some products, “Lina you have to use this cream in the morning, and this is for your eyes, this is night cream… this is wrinkles free product…and she kept going and going to explain…

When I heard the price in total…I was shocked, It was millions rupiah. It squishes my pocket.  Trying to be smart I need a proof before buying the products so I politely rejected her by saying… “I need to discuss with my husband”

I directly called my other friend, asking her opinion.  “Do you use these products? Is that good” She said, “Lina… I buy HOPE’  “Hope… I think the brand is not hope”

“Yeah … I called all the anti aging product HOPE… we just buy Hope… Hope it works… hope the wrinkles gone… hope we look younger…hope we still have money to buy more HOPE”

Definitely I don’t want to buy HOPE… I want something that really works for me to keep me young.  I did the research how people can stay younger than their ages.  I stuck into one advice saying “Always learn something new”

Some of them were going back to school or campus, they tried to learn cooking, music and they involve in new activities. That is a great idea.

Anyway if you cannot go back to school or you couldn’t find anything to learn right now, you can try my smart advice:

Buy the smart phone… It called smart phone means you will need more than 3 months to explore how to use your smart phone. Definitely the phone is smarter than you. With your smart phone you can learn how to play ANGRY BIRD until you really angry at that bird because you cannot win.

Ladies and Gentlemen: there are so many advices to follow, but I think, we don’t have to worry what people think about our appearance… we are not alone. Everyone will walk in the same part.

After 40, it is not about getting wiser or wider, or from sexy to saggy, it is more about the spirit of life.  It is about what we have in our spirit.

Every stage of ages has it own challenge to handle. After 40 is only one of them

As Lynn Johnston said in for Better of for Worse “

 No matter how old you are, there's always something good to look forward to.

**lina kartasasmita Jakarta 24 September 2012. Revision 7 October 2012** 

If they die now…

“If your children look up to you, you’ve made a success of life’s biggest job.” Unknown.

Every time I met my student and he usually asked me, “Lina, how about your daughters?” I always loved to answer his questions. I always told him about my daughters’ achievement. He always smiled and said,  “Lina, you are so proud of your daughters and you always full of love for them” I smiled and said, “I am blessed to be their mom” Both of us smiled and shared the happiness as parents.  

One day, he asked me totally different question, “Lina, I have one question for you. You have spent money to send them studying abroad, what you will do if they die now?”

O… I never thought I had to imagine about that. Sometimes in life, we saw people lost someone they loved and we never thought it would happen to us. Have I thought about it? Yes, 19 years ago I had an argument with my doctor when I wanted him to do the ligation because I wouldn’t have any more babies. My doctor came with an argument what if my babies died and I wanted more babies. At that time my response was “what if I am die, they don’t have a mother” I realized I couldn’t control life, I just could think what the best at that moment. I could plan the future but I couldn’t hold it. I could enjoy the moment right now, not the past and not the future.  The answer became easy. Dead is the certain thing in life, we will die one day. We only have to accept it whether we like it or not, we have to face it.

Now the question was related to the money I spent for my daughters.  I thought as the accountant, who had to make a balance sheet and to count “profit or loss”

Raising children is not a business where we can calculate “profit or loss” I remembered once my friend told me, “ Why you have to spend more money by sending your daughters to study abroad, at the end they might be only become a housewife” My answer at that time was, “I just know my responsibility as parent to support my children to achieve their dreams, to help them in exploring their ability and to help them to be themselves. Their dreams are not my dreams, so I only can support them to spread their wings and then let them fly to achieve their destiny” There is not “profit or loss” in raising children, we build a person, we build a character and we build a human being. What we spend for their education, it called investment for their life.

My student looked at me, he still waited my answer. I took a deep breath, “ If they die now, I only can learn to accept that, dead is the real certain thing, we can not avoid it. I will never regret that I send them abroad, money is one thing in life … but if the money could give them great experiences in their life, it is part of the purpose to spend the money. I love them in my life and I keep telling them that I love them. Either they or I die first it doesn’t matter; I want them to know they are precious in my life. As long as they know I love them… I will never regret it. I will thank them for all the lesson I have learnt in raising them and the memories we have together”

My student gave me a big hug and said, “You are a good mother”  

I am still learning to be a good mother for my children and I will learn from them about love and happiness.  Raising children is always a blessing in my life and blessing is considered “profit”. I hope my daughters can say one day that I am a good mother for them and I will achieve as Brian Tracy said: 

         

 “If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.”

**Lina Kartasasmita, Jakarta, 7 October 2012 at 7.25PM **